After a couple weeks of just sad and tough news, I thought I needed to get back to some of the usual stuff of this column and share with you the following...
Cardinal Sarah, prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship at the Vatican recently urged priests and bishops at the Sacra Liturgia Conference in London to start celebrating Masses ad orientam, or facing away from the congregation beginning the First Sunday in Advent this year. Some translate this as “Facing East.” Some other religions face east when praying or worshiping. My only question is does anyone know which way Jesus was facing when he hung on the cross? Do you think He cared? Yeah, I didn't think so. The last thing I think you want to see is Michael's or my back. This is another guy that needs to get back to a parish, and not as pastor.
Two guys I know very well, good souls, were visiting residents at McGuire Home in New Brighton as a work of mercy. When done, they came out to find a tire was flat on their car. As they were jacking up the car, the lug nuts, which they had placed on the hood, rolled off and into a sewer. These brilliant engineers, who will definitely not be candidates for monitoring the console of a nuclear launch facility, were standing there wondering what to do when a guy came walking by and asked if they needed any help. When told of the problem he looked, paused and said “Why don't you take a lug nut from each of the other wheels and put them on this one, then drive to a dealership and get new ones?” They looked at each other like Oliver Hardy looks at Stan Laurel and thanked the guy. They asked him if he worked at McGuire. The man replied “No. I'm a resident here. Hey guys, I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.” True story.
Certain movies should not be remade: “Planet of the Apes, Carrie, Footloose and The Fog” are just a few that come to mind. Now I hear that soon will come remakes of “Ben Hur” and “The Magnificent Seven.” I weep for Charlton Heston, Yul Brenner and Steve McQueen, the epitomes of cool. You were right astronaut Taylor in “Planet of the Apes (1968) “You maniacs. You blew it up. Ah damn you all to hell.”
My standard daily litany of prayer is for these five: For our kids --health and peace. Our troops, their families, the innocents and an end to the insanity. Those with cancers and leukemia and those who take care of them, angels in our time. An end to violence in our cities and for our men and women in blue. And always for peace. I still work on the ultimate prayer: God's will. But that for me is a work in progress, and figure, that will be the last prayer I offer when I take my last breath.
What do you think of a remake of “The Godfather” except it would be with priests? I'd be Vito Corleone and Michael would play...of course, Michael. We'd get Bishop Zubik to play Sonny. Can you imagine the assassination scene at the Causeway with the mitre and crosier and vestments on? Blockbuster. Everyone will flock to see it.
“One large popcorn and soda please. Oh what the heck, give me a box of chocolate covered raisins too. Michael, what do you want?” “I'll have a bowl of kale, and a plain salad with granola and a cup of green tea.”